DEALING WITH EXES

DATING

by immaculate







That wrenched moment when you find out your EX has moved on with someone else;

"so obviously they didn't love us that much in the first place"

"maybe they were secretly seeing that person behide our back"

"the relationship didn't mean that much to them,they find the break up easy whilst we're still in pain"..... 

    All of these things can go through our minds because the thought of us being with anybody else just isn't an option.

Some tips to help you move on and make that relationship work without hurting your (new)current partner.

  1. AVOIDING COMPARISON:
You are different,with different needs and levels of resilience.try not to compare their path to yours and rather focus on your own unique experience and start looking to your future.

       2.CONCENTRATE ON YOURSELF:

Whatever your emotional status,this is the time to invest in you.this is your opportunity to refill your emotional cup after a draining experience.how you can nurture yourself physically,emotionally,spiritually.its important to restore your settings to your "nomal".

      3.A LITTLE DISTANCE IS ALSO GOOD:

Make sure you set a proper boundaries with your ex and are open with your new partner about how you want to deal with your previous relationship.having everyone on the same page will prevent distructive event from occuring.

      4.FOCUS ON WHAT YOU LEARNT:

Considering the positive and the negative of the relationship,reflect on who you were in the relationship,what character did both of you have that brought out the best,how did both of you push your button.this will help you build a realistic for your next relationship.

        5.DON'T FLAUNT YOUR NEW PARTNER:

If you have found someone new keep them out of the "business dealings" with your ex.these kind of triangles can be painful for both the old and new partner making life more difficult if one or the other set up roadblock because he or she is feeling insecure or angry.

        6.USE SOOTHING WORD AND TONES:

Getting upset and angry is not going to help you get your point across.the more gentle you are,the more likely you will arrive at a mutually beneficial decision.


         Give yourself all the time you need,because its natural to feel the post relationship burn.regardless of whether you were the dumper or the dumpee.its important to allow yourself the time and spaces to process the relationship, to reinrest in yourself and have some fun distractive on hand for when you're feeling blue.

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